Third world countries like Africa have terrible human rights issues. We all are
horrified at the pictures of atrocities committed to the citizens that live
there. Documentaries of children of skin and bones who suffer hunger, abuse
neglect and even being killed that are shown to highlight the lack of these
basic human rights, especially for children. The dictator leadership forbids any
outside aid or help from other countries to enter their country and the abuse
goes on unchecked.
The governments of Britain today are similar in their dictator like approach by
their interfering in family life to those African countries by denying children
the right of protection against secret abuse in homes where drug and alcohol
abuse is a problem
Too many children are suffering neglect, sexual, mental and physical abuse
constantly and just like the dictators of the third world countries our family
laws prevent any-one; fathers, grandparents, aunts or uncles or otherwise from
entering to help these children. The law provides a legal ring of protection
around the abusers, isolating the child.
Just like the adverts on our television of children looking in a black bag for
something to eat or going home to a punch because their guardian has no more
alcohol or drugs. This is happening in Britain today. Open your eyes! Say the
NSPCC. This is very true. We must become aware of this hidden abuse of children.
Don’t forget about the children of Africa but Britain need to get their own
human rights issues sorted out before we criticize others. We need fair family
laws where it is really in the best interests of the child, not just for the
convenience of adults or governments to ignore to save their blushes.
Jimmy Deuchars,
Grandparents Apart Self Help Group Scotland
22 Alness Crescent
Glasgow G52 1PJ
0141 882 5658
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk
Grandparent’s pandemonium at holiday time.
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk/pressreleases/index.htm
Press release. 6th
August
2007
This is holiday time. We have four different accents in our home; Scottish,
Yorkshire, Liverpool, and West Country. Pandemonium has descended on our
normally very quite house with usually just the two of us here. The family have
come to visit, or should I say take over with dodgy the rabbit as well. The
smell of baby’s nappies being changed, a five year old wanting to play at Dr Who
and guess who the alien is? Teenagers are fighting over the TV remote and hiding
it from each other. I lose my computer and my seat at the telly. The fridge is
full of weird stuff like baby’s bottles, vitamin this and that and I feel like
I’d be better off in the garden shed, poor me. Some are here for a week and some
for four and the wife and I will be run off our feet during this time. What’s it
all about? We’re grandparents! And we love it. When they go back down to England
the peace and quiet is bliss, but we are so happy to have such a good family
that care so much for us. At holiday time I learn more about Dinosaurs, Snakes,
Dr who etc than anything else and the questions from the teenagers are constant.
All the kids think it is just great for us to play with them. The precious
moment for me was when our five year old grandson said to his mum “granddad is
my hero”
My wife and I would like to pass on our personal experience of losing our
daughter and the temporary loss of contact with our grandchildren and how we
regained contact and our sanity. Our intentions are to help people through the
same nightmare we have experienced and possibly prevent it happening to others.
We will never forget how heartbroken we were at the time of the death of our
daughter and then to lose contact with our grandchildren was devastating. “I’ll
never lose contact with my grandchildren”, I used to think, but how wrong I was.
Losing one of your children at age 25 cannot be predicted. The shock was life
shattering. We started court proceedings to regain contact with the children,
but a very kind court official offered us mediation and we agreed. It got quite
heated at times, but an agreement was reached. It was a bit shaky at first but
putting our pride aside because of the importance to the children, the agreement
has lasted for nine years now. My wife and I consider ourselves very lucky and
grateful for mediation. It can be done if you are sincere and want the best for
the children.
After the holidays we start getting lots of calls from grandparents who do not
have contact with their family and are heartbroken at their loneliness, but it
is the children who are losing out the most on this experience when they hear at
school the magic time their friends had with their grandparents, the boys
boasting about their granddads exploits and the girls shopping trips with their
gran
No one has real training in family life and if we have not stopped to think
about it, we stumble along thinking we are in the right all the time and can
alienate and bully people round about us without realising, causing more
bitterness. However with a little insight this can change and the rewards can be
great when everyone works together. We need to have our own boundaries, our own
space, and we need to respect others. This can only be achieved when we talk to
each other and know what each other want or needs, including the children. If
you find it difficult to communicate, counsellors are available from us and
other organisations like The Family Mediation Service (in your local phone book)
don’t wait until arguments get to the stage of real bitterness where everyone
loses out especially the kids. Enter in to it with an open mind and you will be
surprised at what can be achieved.
It is a fact, If children grow up with lies, deceit, alienation, don’t be
surprised if you are the victim when they are adults. The guidelines for parents
and grandparents in our book ‘Grandparents Speak out for Vulnerable Children’
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk
can be used as a checklist for you to know if you are really acting in your
children’s best interests or not.
Jimmy Deuchars
Grandparents Apart Self Help Group Scotland.
22 Alness Crescent
Glasgow G52 1PJ
0141 882 5658
Child abuse. Grandparent’s prevention is better than cure.
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk
Press release. 7th June
2007
Child abuse. Grandparent’s
prevention is better than cure.
The last Scottish Executive and
our group as part of a Stakeholders Group on family law produced the ‘The
Charter for Grandchildren’ although it is advisory only at the moment it is a
first step in the right direction. Now we are lobbying to have the Charter
made legal giving the legal right of contact to children with their grandparents
which in our way of thinking is the same as grandparents having rights. The last
Scottish Executive saw fit to have the charter and our input is the main
content. So we are going with the flow rather than against it. The aim now is to
have the whole of the UK recognise the Charter.
Meanwhile, the guidelines in our
book ‘Grandparents Speak out for Vulnerable Children’ have eased the situation
quite a bit and have helped lots of grandparents back into their grandchildren’s
lives.
We have been attending the
National Pensioners Parliament in Blackpool and Scottish National Pensioners
conferences Edinburgh to gain support and we have done very well. The Townswomen
Guild with 40,000 members in the UK has taken up our cause this year to raise
awareness of the unfair family laws and the need for grandparents/grandchildren
legal contact.
NSPCC admit they cannot cope with
the increase in cases of abuse. Social services despite having over 5000 social
workers in Scotland and loads more in training cannot cope according to the
Daily Mail 29th May 2007 [quote] “Huge army of social workers tops
5,000”.
The NSPCC and social work can only
act after the abuse, grandparents could provide the protection to prevent,
or detect the abuse at an earlier stage. Respect for others and good
behaviour education comes from a child’s upbringing taught in the family. Social
services or NSPCC cannot possibly fill this gap. Grandparents could, if only
they had the legal right to do so with the help of family mediation and be
accepted as relevant persons in their grandchildren’s lives.
Grandparents Apart Self Help Group
Scotland does not want to intrude into anyone’s lives but the way our children
are treated determines how they behave in society, it really affects us all
whether we have children or not. Please take a moment to support
grandparents/grandchildren having the legal right of contact for children’s
protection and education in respect for others which is best taught in the early
years of family life.
Ends
Grandparents Apart Self Help Group
Scotland.
22 Alness Crescent
Glasgow G52 1PJ
0141 882 5658
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk
