My Torment at the Hands of the Social Services


MY TORMENT AT THE HANDS OF SOCIAL SERVICES June (2011) I lost my wife to MS when my daughter was 3 and a half. By the age of 4 she was showing signs of inappropriate behaviour and not learning the basic life skills. She started school at 5 in September 2008 and by the end of the school year the teachers and head mistress were aware that my daughter was not learning. It was recommended to me that she would improve the following school year and was probably just emotionally distressed to the loss of her mother. In the meantime I had met and made a close bond with my now future wife to be and she picked up that my daughter really was not developing at a normal rate. In the following school year 2009 it was suggested to me that we gain help from social services and get my daughter assessed. This I did with 4 social workers and lots of form filling and assessments. My daughter had already undergone grief counselling set up by myself but she showed no interest in this and didn’t want to engage. The whole of 2009 was taken up with social services reports various CAFF reports and doctor appointments trying to get my daughter assessed to find out why she was behaving the way she was. In early 2010 my daughter made some claims to school which resulted in social services and the police turning up on my doorstep one Tuesday evening. They interviewed my daughter and she didn’t repeat any claims. I was told that whilst this matter was investigated I could not be left alone with my daughter and if I did not move in with my partner and her daughter then social services would have to remove my daughter there and then. That evening we moved in with my partner – I was left to stew for days. I had been given wrong telephone numbers from social services and therefore had no way of contacting the people who had come to my home. I had no choice but to contact the police and ask what was going on. They told me they had nothing to investigate as my child had not repeated any claims. They managed to give me the correct number for social services and I contacted them to be told that all was ok and the investigation was over. I returned home after putting all of my family through a week of torment. A few months later my daughter was rebelling at school – not doing any work, throwing tantrums removing items of clothing and hair bands and was constantly being removed from her class to sit in the head mistresses office where she was given a drink and food and allowed to draw or watch DVDs. I pointed out that my daughter desperately needed one to one statementing and that any child will play up to get themselves removed from what they are finding a difficult situation if it means they are going to get treats like food and drink etc. This situation went on for months and behind my back school were filing reports to social services that my daughter was clearly the victim of emotional abuse. Mid 2010 my daughter had a bout of fits and seizures and was taken into hospital and was diagnosed under Great Ormond Street as having a rare form of epilepsy known as ESES. We were now back and forth to hospital to get medication and observations in place. In the summer of 2010 I proposed to my new partner and we set a wedding date for the summer of 2011 and intended to move house and get married and become one proper family and live a lovely future together. I then received a letter in late 2010 inviting me to an initial child protection meeting where it would be decided if my child was at risk from me from emotional abuse. Once there at this extremely intimidating meeting surrounded by 12 official professionals from the likes of police and child abuse officers I engaged in the meeting only for it to quickly start turning to the fact they also thought my daughter was being sexually abused by a few comments she had made and the odd drawing of a bottom. I was told that this was the worst case of sexual abuse seen in 20 odd years. Everyone in the meeting decided my daughter was at risk from me and that a child protection plan and safeguarding agreement would need to be put in place immediately. I was distraught. I was told this safeguarding would last for no more than 2 weeks whilst social services investigated the case and had me assessed. I arranged for my mother in law to come and stay with my daughter and I so that she could safeguard for me. It was an impossible task and 2 weeks went on and on and no one from social services had been to assess me – my daughter had been put through some horrific tests and examinations which came back clear as we all knew they would as I hadn’t and would never do anything to my daughter. We were then told the safeguarding would probably have to be in place for 3 months. Something that was impossible to maintain as my mother in law had her own home and husband that she needed to be with. If I broke the safeguarding my daughter would be taken into care and probably never come back, if I handed her over I had a chance to get her back. I had no option in November 2010 I had to hand my daughter to social services as I could not maintain the ridiculous safety procedures they had put on us. I instructed my solicitor to take this matter to court and we have. I am now in the middle of a court battle with social services who 7 months and 2 court orders down the line have still failed to deliver any evidence against me and let me know what it is I am being accused of. Social services are now also breaking up my future family when we are due to move to our new house in a week’s time, we have been issued with an initial child protection conference for my partner’s daughter (who is showing no signs of learning difficulties and has never displayed any inappropriate behaviour or made any allegations against me). Social services have been aware of our pending union and house move for the last 8 months ago. Despite knowing this they suddenly have announced that if we move in together and get married potentially my partner’s daughter is at risk from me. Even though my partner signed a safeguarding 7 months ago to say her daughter would never be left alone with me – and my partner has never ever broken this and never would. We have had to cancel our wedding for August, I have to move to our new family home, my partner has had to speak to her landlord and arrange to stay living where she currently is with her daughter. Despite doing this, social services have put my partner’s daughter on a child in need plan and I am allowed NO contact with my partner’s daughter – this is emotionally damaging for all of us when I have done nothing wrong. Even though the risk they deem to the child is removed (me) they still want to get their claws into my partner’s daughter. If my partner does not engage with social services they will take her to court to get an interim care order to remove her daughter from her until my case is resolved. My court case for my own daughter is ongoing until September 2011 and I am facing a 4 day fact finding hearing when I am hoping that all supposed evidence against me will be in and a decision will be made as to whether my daughter is at risk and should stay in care or if she is allowed to come home. By then my daughter would have been in care for 10 months – 10 months of her life I have missed out on. Also I would have missed out on 4 months or more with my future wife to be and her daughter when I have NOT done anything wrong. We are left with no choice but to engage with social services and give them access to our other child who is happy, intelligent and care free and we now have to expose her to the evil clutches of social services who lie, twist and manipulate everything in their favour. This devastating action will also mean my daughter does not have the loving warm family she knows to come back home to as social services are intent on destroying everything before anyone is accused of being guilty of anything or not. How can this be right? – what happened to innocent until proven guilty. How can they have the power and rights to smash a happy family to pieces yet drag their heels on providing evidence against me – if I have done something so horrific that warrants my daughter being away from me then surely they should be rushing to get their evidence in and resolve this matter for the good of my daughter – after all they claim it’s their duty to do right by children – what leaving a child in foster care away from her family for 10 months is that in a child’s best interest when at contact sessions my daughter is begging me to take her home – asking when will she be able to come home – surely they should be acting faster so my daughter can be settled. Social services are not answerable to anyone only the courts. I find it appalling as they are tearing my family apart – causing our happy plans and future to be stopped and are not acting in my daughters best interests at all as they are taking so long to resolve this matter. How can that be justice – they put procedures in place and the only option you have is go to court to fight to try to undo their procedures and even then with court orders they don’t do as requested and this goes unchecked. Meanwhile we are left with one child begging at contact sessions to come home and the other emotionally upset because she can’t see her dad or live as a family in the new home. Social services don’t follow procedures – how come I can see the child who is in care and has made comments about me but the child who has not said a bad word about me can’t see me at all – how does that make sense – they make it up as they go along! Also, how can it be right that we are being torn apart before anyone has been found guilty of having shown any abuse to our children. Yet in the papers for the last 4 years has been a tragic story where a child was snatched from her hotel room in Portugal. However that was a massive case of neglect on the part of the parents who were out dining when their daughter was taken – however I believe they still have custody of their other two children – how come – when they have shown the world how neglectful they were – yet they are able to keep their children. I hope someone may read this and be able to help us put an end to social services destruction on an innocent little family. UPDATE TO "MY TORMENT AT THE HANDS OF SOCIAL SERVICES" STORY November 2010 my daughter went into foster care - we got her back end of January 2012 after a gruelling battle with social services in the courts. We won our case we were innocent and our child has medical conditions.... but SS won't go away they are still hounding us..... when will they realise they do damage not good. Keep fighting on to prove your innocence and win your children back, it takes forever but don't let them win!!! we have moved in together and are due to marry this summer and hopefully they will get the hint and go away!
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