Punished for just trying to Protect my Children


Punished for just trying to Protect my Children Dec 2011 Names or locations may have been changed. I live in D...... in Ireland. I am a single mother of 9 children aged from 23 years to 3 years. I had a very strict upbringing, and married at 18, having my first child a 19. I did what all mothers and wives do.. Be a wife and a mother, and had another child soon after. In 1991 my father died, and in the same week I discovered my daughter then 4, was being sexually abused by her own father. I picked up my children and I left. This was the first encounter with social services. They did help and my daughter was giving a lot of support. But the social workers and Garda decided that with my daughters age that a conviction would be to hard, so my then husband got away with a slap on the wrist. I moved to northern Ireland, as I lost my home, and I was hearing my husband telling everyone I was a liar. So I moved. I meet someone else, and we became friends then later he became my husband after I divorced. We had 5 children together then whilst pregnant with our 5th child be began to talk about incest, and I became very scared as my daughter was now 15. I placed a lock on her for her protection, however whilst having my son my ex husband abused my daughter, she ran away, she went to my mother who placed her in care in the UK. Three years later my daughter got in touch, and we thank goodness are close again. She still has a lot of problems to do with the abuse and also from the lack of support and the number of lies social services in the UK had told her. I at the same time as my daughter going into care in the UK, moved back to Donegal in Ireland. I was soon followed by my ex husband, and he pushed for access. Social services where aware he had a mental issue, and continue to say he had rights. On one access visit in my home, my ex husband raped me. From this I became pregnant with my son L. Social services where aware of what had happened. I went for a protection order and was refused. Social services still insisted my husband come to my home, and visit his children. In the end I got a friend to pretend to be a Garda and come in and tell me the protection order went into force at midnight. My ex left that night and never came back. I told social services I was not bonding with my son, and was told to basically catch myself on. I struggled for 3 years, and in that time meet my ex partner. I was living in a council estate with neighbours with asbos, and I barely could go out. My daughter had returned, and life seemed to be good. Then social services turned up with the Garda to remove my children. After 4 hours of talks the Garda decided that the report giving to the social workers was false. And they left. However them came back without the Garda, and said that they had been given to many reports and had to look into them. My neighbours had been calling them stating my ex partner could be heard (not seen) hitting, shouting etc at the boys, Yes he had shouted, hitting he had not. He was told he had to leave and not return. I was 8 and a half months pregnant with my daughter. I sent my kids to say with their aunt in D.P, and went on to give birth to my daughter with my partner by my side. The day after my daughters birth, my sister in law called me and told me my ex husband had taken my kids. I was frantic. Social services told me it was my own fault. My partner returned home for 12 days, and when my daughter was 19 days old social services and the Garda turned up again. My partner had told the health visitor to leave as she had upset me about my children and he felt I needed to be supported not blamed. She claimed she was in fear for her life. And that as my daughter was in his arms at the time this was abuse. My partner was told to leave, and I was told if he did not stay away my daughter would be taken into care. I had to sign an agreement to that fact. The social worker actually smiled whilst telling me. 5 Months later my children returned. And the social services straight away restarted their campaign. It came clear to them that I had not bonded with my son due to the attack, and said he should be placed into voluntary care long term as this was only fair on him. I did agree as I knew I was unable to hug him, he was never neglected or abused. He had a bruise from a fall he had, but I was told I was an abuser and so was my partner. We totally parted, and he went to America where he is now married with a family. In 2009 my son L went into voluntary long term care, as I his mother was unable to care for his emotional needs. I choose to not see L as I thought it would help him to settle. However I was told my other children could see my son 4 times a year. Within the first year he only was seen twice. I went to the care plan meeting and it was agreed to 3 times a year, again only 2 followed. I was then contacted by the social worker and told that even though I was always being told he was happy and settling well he was in fact not setting and had a big defence against his foster mother, and had me up on a pedestal, he even had asked to return home. I was asked if I would see him, on my own with social workers. I was terrified due to how I felt before he went, and scared all those feelings would return. I was then told it would not be just once but at least 3 times, and that a rewind therapy could be used to help me separate my son from the trauma. So I agreed. Within a few days I wanted to see my son, I did and was over whelmed. I asked if this feeling would change and was told no. And said well in that case I want my son back. I was told no.. Straight away. The social worker told me if I pushed it all my kids would be put in care. She later denied she said that, and her partner social worker said I heard wrong. I went to the planning meeting for his care, where the chair person decided that it should be looked at more. I was then told if I wanted my son home I would have to under go meetings with an independent social worker and a clinical forensic physiologist. As a reward for agreeing to this I would be allowed a once a month, a one hour supervised visit with my children. However not every month happened. It all depended when the foster parents where free to bring my son to the visits. In June 2011 the work began, and did not finish until October 2011, in this time I also was taking my daughter up and down to C...... hospital where in this time had 2 operations also. Which they where aware off. Last week the social worker who heads the foster care in L K where my son is placed came to visit me with L's Social worker (5th since going into care). She said very little. He who has from day one said no to my sons return, said no again. He said that both reports indicated I was a wonderful mother, and that I might be able to care for all of L’s needs. But their where unsure. So he said he was not willing to take the chance. I was told I have 2 choices, I can sign my son over to them long term voluntary, or they will remove all my parental rights to my son in a court. On Wednesday there will be a care planning meeting, where I will be formally told I am not being given my son back. I BELIEVED I WAS UNDERTAKING AN SET OF INTERVIEWS TO PROVE I WAS NOW DUE TO THE EMOTIONAL THEARPHY UNDERTAKEN IN A MUCH BETTER PLACE. TO SHOW SOCIAL SERVICES I WAS MORE THAN JUST A MOTHER, HOWEVER - THE ENTIRE INTERVIEWS INCLUDING THE INTERVIEW WITH SOCIAL SERVICES LAST TUESDAY WAS TO FIND OUT IF ABUSE WENT ON IN MY HOME, AND TO ALSO SEE IF I WAS PART TO IT... THIS WAS A WITCH HUNT AND NOT ABOUT BRINGING BACK MY SON.
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