My 'Stockholm Syndrome' Hell


My 'Stockholm Syndrome' Hell April (2011) I am a forty year old now separated father, fathers have no rights. I'm in the 10th month now of a battle against my local authority to regain my son after they implemented and influenced a 'emergency' Police Protection Order that was meant for 72 hours. I have and would never ever harm my son, I love him more than I have ever loved anything in the world, we both did, but the local authority insist and fabricated that it is 'potentially, likely, and potentially possible' we would cause my son 'significant emotional harm and abuse', despite never once presenting or in fact having any evidence of neglect or harm, he's cried once or twice if we turned the lights on late at night though but he was ok! My son was 3 months old when they ripped him from his mothers arms during my absence, they did not contact me, or consider me as a carer despite having placed him into my care for 3 days previously when my partner was found to be intoxicated and crying. My then partner had started drinking,and suffering from post natal depression she was addressing these issues and was receiving help, instead of support and assistance the authorities saw this as an opportunity to 'snatch' another child and place into care or adoption. Never did my partner hurt or injure my son in any way ever, nor would she.. He was always kept clean, fed and was very content and happy, had lots of toys and Teddies and bitey rattly things etc, but she drank, and more increasingly so lately to cope with the stress from the SS. The more the SS interfered the more she started drinking, she said they wanted to take her baby away, and they were there at the hospital before he was born, and again during the birth, she was convinced they were going to take him, I thought this was absurd and that she was being paranoid. The authorities immediately started testing our baby for 'foetal alcohol syndrome' but never have found this, they still blood test our baby constantly for this now 8 months later! Instead of helping her they immediately dictated unrealistic conditions and orders that my partner was forced to sign, i.e. 'should NEVER be allowed to be left alone with the baby in case she fell on him and killed him when she was 'drunk', but taking him in the bath was fine, never allowed to take the baby into the community' and countless pages of 'contracts' that she was told if they were not signed then a case conference would be arranged and our baby would be taken into care, his name changed, and we would never again see him until he was 18'. I do not claim her drinking wasn't an issue, whilst I will say she was very good at it, by that I mean her tolerance was unique, she always put my sons needs first, and only really drank heavily after he was asleep and after he had been taken care of, someone was always there at the house as she was forced to stay with her parents by the ss when she left hospital. My partner was not as strong as me and the local authority tactics separated us, they divided us and destroyed our relationship. They gave us no chance whatsoever, they turned us against each other despite all I could do to try stop their lies, turning our fight into a custody battle and a bitter battle between each other. I could not get through to her we needed to have fought together against them, and not each other, for our babies sake if not ours. As a result she is now worst than ever, suicidal and I had no choice but to go it alone for the sake of my son. They convinced her to raise issues relating to my parenthood and ordered a D.N.A test that proved positive! Convinced her that she should fabricate I was aggressive, controlling and violent (never ever have I demonstrated any of these traits towards her, whilst they convinced her that support is actually a hidden form of control and leads to violence in a lot of partners!). They convinced her to report to them and fabricate that I also had a severe drink problem, and often participated in drinking 'sessions' with her, or encouraged her, undermining their concerns or 'willingly allowing my son to be placed at harm and failing to safeguard him', (my ordered liver functionality blood tests proved I was nothing more than a very occasional social drinker, if at all.). They then tried to label me a user of drugs, no evidence there during hair strand testing, and frequent unannounced visits to my home, whereby they would look at my back garden for non existent 'drug usage evidence' and found none. Then as a result of my 'inexperience' of having babies, despite coming from a large family with older sisters and raising 3 boys as a father figure when their dad died, I was forced to attend parenting assessment sessions for weeks, all good their too I can now play with, change, feed and bath a baby to government standards and recommendations and I can safely sit in a room full of women with babies and not kill anyone or go completely nuts! Now as a result of their lack of evidence to discredit me they had me 'chat' and share polos with a 'personality expert' for 30 minutes, who decided I am 'over friendly', and a possibly 'narcissist' who could, 'potentially', hit my son if he did not perform to my expectations and make me look good, as I only see him as an extension of myself! After dotting 356 yes/no questions hurriedly with a felt tip pen. When they have no evidence to discredit you, they will find a way to fabricate it. When they tried to get me to discredit my partner I refused, even now I still defend her despite the many statements against me she has given. They convinced my partner, who I loved very much, and still do, that she would get the baby back if she prevented me from doing so, (they had NO intention of rehabilitation to the mother, and WERE NOT even considering her at all, I since discovered they had recommended this not happen until she demonstrated a complete abstinence from alcohol for 12 months, before any considerations). I have 3 days of 2 hour supervised contacts a week, my ex partner has 2 days, she often does not turn up, she did not attend the last court date. Contacts were then progressed to taking place at my home, and they were moving forward with plans for rehabilitation, they even gave me money for food so they could observe me cooking dinners for my son. 45 minutes before my son was due to arrive, and as I was preparing his meals etc they telephoned me and stated 'we have received allegations that you could potentially pose a threat to our staff and have canceled all contacts at your home'. They refused to give me any reasoning, and stated they had informed the police and told them 'what you have done'. Myself and my solicitor contacted the police and they had no information at all regarding this, they said they had NOT sent anyone to my address to discuss things and if they had an officer would have left a calling card and they could not find anything to suggest they wanted to. The SSS claimed that the police had visited my address 'several times' and yet I was avoiding them, and therefore I was preventing them from moving forward with their plans and I should 'hand myself in'. After 5 days there still has been no police visit. Nor can they give me anyone to speak with or for me to 'hand myself in' to . I wanted to be the first to take my son home to Wales, the foster carers have already stolen this from me, and now I have been informed that contacts have been canceled for the Easter because they have planned another holiday to Wales and are taking my son with them in their new car they bought, (they have 2 stolen children), the alternative would be to place my son in an 'emergency foster home' and this 'we would not consider a suitable option at his age due to disruption to his routines that this would cause'. They get almost £500 a week x 2 and they force feed my son genetically modified 'value' yogurts, when I raised this at a meeting they omitted it from the minutes, even after saying it was a valid point! They say my request for them to only give my son filtered water instead of tap water was 'unreasonable and petty'. I use a water filter, I don't want my sons brain to be filled with aluminium and fluoride, or other trace heavy metals/chemicals. £500 should be able to buy a cheap water filter, I even offered them mine! Instead they bought a new car with tinted windows and claim they do not need to buy sun screens to protect my babies eyes from the suns glare. I'm not sure if any tints filter UV rays! They sent my son to be injected against hepatitis b when there was absolutely no reason, if I had not protested the Dr would have given the injection. He then wrote a letter backing up my concerns that this was unnecessary, and a waste of public money as he had to throw away the injection. (they told him it was required!). My hair strand test cost £1,400! Social Services Safeguard team? I would strongly suggest that no one ever ever asks them for help. PLEASE DON'T they will just go straight through you as if you don't exist and rip away your child, as if your not even there, they won't talk to you or reason with you! You have no say and no rights. They don't invite me to meetings they should, and apologise later, they send me the highly edited minutes biased from meetings 3 months later, if you tried to argue or object they label you as 'aggressive, and disruptive'.! Iv'e been to court twice, I have yet to even speak to a judge, the SS just stall things and make recomendations that you have no say in and postpone for 3 more months, they never question if this is appropriate or right, the judge only really speaks to confirm the next date with the authorities, 'February, everyone ok with February, no, ok what about June, June it is then'! They may as well be handing out death sentences, each month another lost month of my life, another month where my son is growing up and forming permanent attachments to strangers, who kiss him at contact locations, and it makes me sick to the core. They don't like it when I call this 'Stockholm Syndrome'. Despite my hell the little satisfying things make me smile a bit, they keep me going. They don't ask or question the parent, you may as well be invisible, I don't even know why I bother to go. But that's it now i'm in the 'system'. They change my 2 hour daily contact venues at the last minute, sometimes they do not bother to show up due to 'staff shortages' or having 'too many contact cases' the first was a 70 mile round trip using public transports every day to some freezing portacabin on a deserted overgrown derelict hospital surrounded by rat traps, with a huge 2 way mirror in it and cameras. With anatomically correct 'childrens dolls'. It took 30 minutes to warm the massive 'shed' with 2 small electric fires in November they said this venue was 'adequate' for a 3 month old baby, they even suggested once when it was -10 that he should stay sat in his child seat in a car while they warmed the room up! When that flooded, they changed to a tiny Dr's examination room out in the country, with a medical bed and medical waste bins with foot levers, and a hand basin. I had to play with and change my son on the floor under the desk with a 'support worker' sat on a metal chair observing and writing notes 'good eye contact, child responding, seems responsive, parent showing a bond' etc eventually they provided me with a small play mat after 8 weeks to keep my son off the stained floors after I complained several times. They accessed my medical records, without permission BEFORE any case conference or concerns and used these out of context to state I had a long term history of depression on the basis I renewed a sick note 3 times to avoid a disciplinary for not phoning in sick at the correct time when my company was sacking people left right and centre to avoid paying out tiny redundancy payments when they announced 500 job cuts! I've made 20 complaints, most upheld. I had to write personally to the director of social services first to get any response, one of my SS workers who made the initial 'recovery' of my son has since suddenly 'left the department now' and started work for a parallel adoption company and openly advertises on FB and twitter 'been made redundant, you can earn up to £500 PER PLACEMENT, per week fostering children'. Conveniently she is now 'unavailable' to be questioned regarding her tactics, lies, and actions, resulting in a possibly 'no finding' regarding several of my serious complaints, I am told this happens a lot and can quote friends I have made who have been advised exactly the same when they themselves have complained. It takes them 65 days to investigate complaints! I am still waiting for her apology letter that her manager assured me was a satisfactory resolution to her comments 'he seems very controlling why don't you leave him' to my partner prior to removing my son and saying to her parents when they offered her tea 'I could use something a bit stronger' despite being there to address alcohol issues regarding my partner. I sincerely wish that no one should have to endure this nightmarish hell that they call 'safeguarding children', when in reality it is no more than a terribly corrupt method of showing the local authorities draconian approach to 'safeguarding children', that it is to remove every single child from anyone that asks for help, force the parents to endure a lengthy witch hunt to establish and prove they are a danger that will destroy their lives, the real needed help, the real cases that resulted in such tragic losses, or suicides, will be statistically dwarfed in doing so, as we can balance the numbers of our failures and reap huge incentives or budgets and conform to targets. I hate them, I hate them so much, and the only thing I ever hated was hate itself. Even if there ever was or is a good social worker out there, they allow this to happen or turn a blind eye. They lie and destroy families. I don't know how long I can keep doing this, I breakdown a lot lately. I don't eat or sleep much anymore, and if I dare to seek any help they just use it as a weakness against me. I know also that you have to keep fighting and fighting them, and to anyone, all the perfectly good loving families involved alone with this hell that they call 'child protection' please do not ever give up fighting, for your children's sake, no matter what the outcome is they will never break your love you have for your children. They can't ever take that away from you, but they will take everything else. Thank you for reading.
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