As a baby, she was snatched unjustly
from her mother's arms. Now this 17-year-old schoolgirl has found her mum, and
together they are fighting to end such secret scandals.
It's an astonishing story
Seventeen years ago Yvonne Coulter's baby daughter fell while playing in her
baby bouncer. She bruised her cheek. A neighbour noticed and told the
authorities. A social worker visited and took the child into care.
It was the beginning of a grave injustice.
Over the next three years it was proved beyond doubt that Yvonne Coulter was a
good and loving mother whose child should be handed back to her. But by the time
the case wound through the courts, it was deemed to be too late. The judge who
heard her pleas told hen 'Miss Coulter, if I return your daughter home to you,
you will be a stranger to her.'
And so her little girl was sent off for adoption. Just like that.
Yvonne was left utterly devastated. She had done nothing to deserve this, yet
she had no right of appeal.
It is an astonishing tale. For her it was like something that happens in a
police state. And, despite their errors, the culprits were repeatedly protected
by secrecy laws.
Indeed, when Yvonne told her story in ‘Take a Break’ 27 months ago, she had to
do so anonymously.
But since that time something amazing has happened.
Out of the blue, her long-lost daughter tracked her down. They met and this year
they are about to spend their first Christmas together. More than that,
17-year-old Tammy is joining with her mother to lift the veil that has long
concealed these appalling and unfair decisions.
Recently, despite her youth, she addressed child and healthcare professionals at
a conference called Opening up the Family Courts. She wanted to make them
realise that mums and babies were not just faceless statistics. It was an
important speech. When she'd finished, there was hardly a dry eye in the house.
This is what Tammy told them...
I was taken from my mum nearly 17 years ago on a false allegation, I was seven
months old and sitting in my bouncing chair, my mum had gone into the kitchen to
make me a night feed. I was happily playing with an activity toy, which I
dropped on the floor; I leant forward to reach the toy but the chair followed me
arid tipped forward falling on top of me. I sustained a bruise on my cheek. And
that's where my life was changed forever.
My case was heard within the family court in the years 1989 which lasted all the
way to 1992. I was placed with a set of foster carers whom I stayed with for 13
months.
Then one-day social services accused the foster carers of suffering from
depression and removed me from their care! I was then placed with three lots of
emergency foster carers before being placed with my pre adopters, who then
became my parents.
While this was happening to me my mum gave birth to my brother Cameron. One
minute after his birth social services (a male) walked into the labour suite and
tried to hand a place and safety order in writing to my mum who was laid on the
bed with no clothes on and she had not even delivered the placenta. Medical
staff asked the social worker to leave on three occasions eventually the social
worker left the labour suite, leaving my mum very distressed and losing all her
dignity.
My mum and Cameron went home to my grandparents where they resided until the
28th of December 1990. My mum then went to the family court as social services
were trying for an interim care order to remove my brother from her care. My mum
fought and won full parental rights of Cameron and no further action was taken.
All my mum wanted was to fight for me, she attended many family courts, which
were held in secret and she was not allowed to talk about our case or me to
anyone.
Time passed and Cameron reached the age of 21 months old, when the social
services actually reached a date for my freeing order, which was in the year of
1992; there were no concerns to Cameron's welfare. She was an excellent mother
to him.
The judge who heard my case made his decision on the basis that social services
had delayed my case for over two and a half years. On reading his decision to my
mum (he stated) "Miss Coulter if I return your daughter home to you, you will be
a stranger to her" and on that decision I was freed for adoption and my whole
future was completely changed.
Finding out that you are adopted is one of the worst feelings in the world
because you feel that all your identity you have known of yourself is a lie; for
example your whole childhood and personality.
I found out through photos that my brother was still with my mum and is one and
a half years younger than me. This was very upsetting and left me wondering why
my mum wanted my brother and not me.
Left with these unanswered questions and feeling very confused; like I did not
belong anywhere I wanted to find the truth, and the answers to my questions, the
only person who could answer them was my mum.
My decision to find my birth family was not supported in the way in which I
would have liked from my adoptive parents. I went about looking for my mum by
first of all ringing support after adoption that told me I must wait until I am
18 years of age and would not offer me any help or advice. Which left me more
confused and very upset?
In January this year on a Thursday night I received a phone call from my best
friend. She told me to go over to her house, as it was very important. I had no
idea of what I was to be told. Her laptop was placed on her bed and she told me
to read the posting. I was ecstatic as I read the information, which confirmed
that my mum was looking for me as much as I was looking for her.
My friend who knew as much as I did about my adoption found the posting when
secretly putting my name on GENES REUNITED. I found myself emailing her my
mobile number as I knew the same information which was written in her posting;
which included information that nobody would have known about me. I waited three
and a half hours for the phone call which would change my whole life, and answer
all the unanswered questions which had been tormenting me since the age of about
11 when I moved to Comprehensive School where I met many other adopted and
fostered children.
Waiting for the phone call was the most exciting and precious time of my life,
the hours seemed like weeks. In the next breath I was actually talking to my mum
on the phone, we spoke for an hour about everything that we could. We put the
phone down and later that evening I rang my mum back and told her I know it was
short notice but could we please meet the following morning and she agreed to.
Our meeting was very emotional for the both of us, neither of us spoke we just
put our arms around each other and cried together, we held each other very tight
and I cant explain how happy I felt.
[Tammy then explains that this led to conflict with her adoptive parents, which
ended with her moving in with her birth mother.]
This brings me to why I am here today, I was a child who was wrongfully removed
from the care of my mother and most of all I have had the rights taken away from
me to have enjoyed the right to a family life with my natural family.
I am publicly speaking today on behalf of children and parents who have also
been through the secrecy of family courts and the injustices that have taken
place - and do still take place – in order to describe the devastation that can
be caused to a whole family.
Since I have moved in with my birth family I see the relationship between my
mother, brother and sister and cannot help feeling that I have missed out, no
matter how much I fit in now.
We have all bonded very well, I now feel as if I fit in somewhere and feel I can
be myself as I have found out who I really am and that my mum never did anything
wrong.
Over the years my mum has been fighting to prove her innocence.
An injustice has taken place. I am very angry and also upset that my mum was
treated like a criminal and punished for life on something that she never did -
and had the right to a family life taken away.
I feel confused, hurt, stripped of my identity, exhausted through lies.
I know I am not the only person to have gone through the hell of secrecy in
family courts and hope I have expressed the way in which those others will feel
— and are feeling — at my age.
Tammy, despite her youth, then went on to propose a number of r changes to the
law on such adoptions, including:
• Sounder medical evidence
• A more factual approach by social services
• Independent monitoring of decisions
• The removal of a child to be the last resort
She added: 'My mum was told that she would be a stranger to me if I were
returned home to her. However, my foster parents and my adoptive parents were
also strangers.
The most important factor is the secrecy surrounding the family courts and why
they should be opened. I am of an age where I can talk about the detrimental
effects.
Many of the children who have been taken in the past — and a still being taken —
do not have a voice.
'So please take into account that we are all human and we have feelings, and the
way in which the courts have been working up this day has been inhumane in many
cases.
The emotional effects on children torn apart from their birth families can last
a lifetime.'
[Tammy was addressing child and healthcare professionals at a conference called
Opening up the Family Courts, held in London. She was joined on the platform by
Government minister Harriet Harman, who endorsed much of what she said.
Tammy is now living with her mother in Ironville, Derbyshire.]
Edited by Sara Ward. E-mail
tab.sara@bauer.co.uk
